With all of the religious community's fuss over former governor Mike Huckabee, anyone would think he'd walked on water and healed leapers. Seriously, this guy is like the Republican Barack Obama. His candidacy has garnered universal adoration, but nobody can really see why. (Can Huckabee HIMSELF even see with those crazy chameleon eyes of his)?

Here's my theory: The Christian base of the Republican Party is suffering from what psychologists refer to as 'wishful hallucination.' In short, they have told themselves so many times that a PERFECT candidate must emerge before the primaries, that they've finally started believing it. It seems they've fallen into an imaginary world where any candidate who supports illegal alien amnesty, higher taxes and wishy-washy foreign policy can become the next Ronald Reagan. Their choice it seems is as random as their logic: an eccentric but charismatic Southern Baptist preacher who sees every undocumented strawberry-picker as an embattled victim of Anglo-American racism. 

But Shane, he's against abortion! 

Yes, and so is practically every other Republican candidate, including--contrary to popular belief--Rudy Giuliani. 

I like to think of my fellow 'homeschooled Christians' as intelligent people, but this ordeal has truly strained my faith in them. How is it that Mike Huckabee, a man who routinely condemns the best immigration reform as propaganda designed to "rile up those who are racists and bigots” has risen to SECOND PLACE in nationwide polls?  

I didn’t intend to for this to become a blogosphere hit job on Huckabee, but his glaring flaws deserve at least a few moments in the limelight. Consider for example, his performance as governor according to Roy Beck, President of NumbersUSA, one of the most instrumental groups in defeating this year's Senate immigration bill: 

"[Governor Mike Huckabee] was an absolute disaster on immigration as governor of Arkansas...Every time there was any enforcement in his state, he took the side of the illegal aliens"

These words don't exactly bode well for a nation currently under invasion from the Third World.
 
And then there's his quirky, illogical love for Bill and Hillary Clinton, perhaps the two people in the world LEAST adored by Huckabee's Christian Conservative voting base. Yet Mike not only toured with Bill on the End to Childhood Obesity tour, (wonder if Bon Jovi showed up at that one?) but showered him with complements saying, “I have tremendous respect for the Clintons.”

Respect? For the Clintons? Uh, Mr. Huckabee. We respect George Washington. We respect Winston Churchill. We respect war heroes, honest businessmen and parents who had to raise children like you. We do not respect presidents who perjure themselves before grand juries, engage in unconventional sex with interns, ignore the world’s most dangerous terrorists and leave behind foreign policy records comparable to that of Jimmy Carter.

But I digress. If Mike Huckabee isn’t a hard-core Clintonian, he’s certainly a fortune cookie. Just look at some of the cutesy statements he’s made—none of which have any political, social or moral implications whatsoever:

“Inside every human being there are treasures to unlock.” Yes, Mr. Huckabee. And you will have good fortune in the new year also.  

“I liked gravy poured on top of a big glob of mashed potatoes, I liked biscuits a lot, and a lot of them. I liked going to the state fair and having a fried Twinkie. They were my choices. They were bad choices.”

And apparently so was your decision to run for president, Mike.

I suppose the thing I find so astounding is how the Christian Conservative Community (sounds like some sort of Klan, doesn’t it?), has embraced this kind-hearted lunatic like some sort of Baptist saint. According to some of the latest polls, Huckabee comfortably holds more of the “evangelical” vote than all of the other Republican presidential candidates COMBINED. That means he has garnered more religious support than Fred Thompson, a former senator whose fiercely pro-life, small-government and family-friendly policies  go back literally DECADES to the dawn of his (rather ancient) political career. Perhaps most importantly, he has obtained the endorsements of several prominent Right to Life Committees throughout the nation, signaling a strong consensus that Fred is the most viable candidate to carry the anti-abortion banner.  
But Christians have also largely rejected Mitt Romney, arguably the greatest advocate of religious freedom and expression among the Republicans. Romney also has extensive executive experience, something that very few of the other candidates can claim.
Despite repeated attempts to make them see the light, Christian voters have also rejected Rudy Giuliani (mostly at the behest of Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family and his cohorts in the value-voters crowd). Giuliani however, is known for having run what many call “the most conservative government” in America while mayor of New York City, virtually taking that city 180 degrees. The flack he catches on the abortion issue is also terrifically unfair, as he has promised to appoint strict-constructionist, pro-life justices to the Supreme Court, should the bench lose one or two of its judges.
Perhaps most absurd is the Christian Right’s utter indifference toward the BEST candidate in this race: Congressman Duncan Hunter. Not only is he the strongest SOCIAL conservative among the Republicans, but Hunter has also shown an adept command of complex foreign and domestic issues, tackling tough subjects like the impending Medicare crisis, trade problems with Communist China and a fantastically simple outlook on the War against Terrorism, namely, the ‘Ann Coulter’ approach of “invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity!” (Ok, so he doesn’t specifically advocate that last part). To top it all off, he has a tremendously confident and light-hearted manner in debates and public appearances that cannot help but remind one of the Gipper. The sheer injustice of the fact that he and Huckabee were neck-and-neck at the beginning of this year flabbergasts me.

Contrasting their separate stances on foreign policy for instance, Huckabee’s staggering idiocy makes a grand appearance as he chews out President Bush for being ‘too aggressive’ with Militant Islamics:

"It's a matter of saying, 'there's a line in the sand and you're either with us or against us.' Well, we understand what that means in the South and Southwest. But in many countries and cultures that may be seen as an ultimatum."

Isn’t that kind of the point?   

 But hey, maybe I’m being a little too harsh on Huckabee. Perhaps Mike would make a great commander-in-chief.

Or then again, maybe Chuck Norris will endorse a gutless sissy for president.
Oh wait…too late!